Why we all need to practice emotional first aid – Part 1 (Guy Winch)
I grew
up1 with my identical twin2, who was an incredibly loving brother. Now, one
thing about being3 a twin is that it makes you an expert at spotting4
favoritism. If his cookie was even5
slightly bigger6
than my cookie, I had questions. And clearly, I wasn't starving7. (Laughter)
When I became8
a psychologist, I began to notice9
favoritism of a different kind10, and that is how much more we value the body than
we do the mind11. I spent12
nine years at university earning13
my doctorate in psychology, and I can't tell you how many people look at my business card and say, "Oh, a psychologist. So not a real
doctor," as if14 it should15
say that on my card. (Laughter16) This favoritism we show the body over the mind,
I see it everywhere.
I recently was at a friend's house, and their five-year-old was getting ready17 for bed. He was standing
on a stool18 by the sink19
brushing his teeth20, when he slipped21,
and scratched22
his leg on the stool when he fell23. He cried24
for a minute, but then he got back up25, got back on the stool, and reached out for26 a box of Band-Aids to put one
on his cut. Now, this kid could barely tie
his shoelaces27, but he knew you have to cover a cut, so it
doesn't become infected, and you have to care for28
your teeth by brushing twice a day29.
We all know how to maintain30 our physical health and how to practice dental hygiene31, right? We've known it since we were five years old32. But what do we know about maintaining our
psychological health? Well, nothing. What do we teach33
our children about emotional hygiene? Nothing. How is it that we spend more time taking care of
our teeth than we do our minds. Why is it that our physical health is so much more important to us than our psychological health?
We sustain34
psychological injuries35
even more often36
than we do physical ones, injuries like failure37
or rejection or loneliness38. And they can also get worse39 if we ignore them, and they can impact our lives in dramatic ways. And yet40,
even though there are41
scientifically proven techniques we could use to treat42 these kinds of psychological injuries, we don't. It doesn't even occur to us that43 we should. "Oh, you're feeling depressed? Just shake it off45;
it's all in your head." Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg: "Oh, just walk it off; it's all in your
leg." (Laughter) It is time we closed the gap45 between our physical and our psychological
health. It's time we made them more equal, more like twins.
Speaking of which46, my brother is also a psychologist. So he's not a real doctor, either47. (Laughter) We didn't study together, though48. In fact49, the hardest thing I've ever
done50 in my life is move across the Atlantic to New York City to get51
my doctorate in psychology. We were apart52
then for the first time in our lives, and the separation was brutal for both of us. But while53
he remained among54
family and friends, I was alone in a new country.
We missed
each other55 terribly, but international phone calls were really
expensive then and we could only afford56
to speak for five minutes a week. When our birthday rolled around57, it was the first we wouldn't be spending
together. We decide to splurge58,
and that week we would talk for 10 minutes. I spent the morning pacing around my room59, waiting for him to call
-- and waiting and waiting, but the phone didn't ring. Given the time difference, I assumed, "Ok, he's out with friends, he will call
later." There were no cell phones then. But he didn't. And I began to realize60 that after being away for over61 10 months, he no longer missed me62 the way I missed him.
I knew he would call in the morning, but that night was one of the saddest63 and longest nights of my
life. I woke up64
the next morning. I glanced down65
at the phone, and I realized I had kicked
it off the hook66 when pacing the day before. I stumbled
out off bed67, I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang68 a second
later, and it was my brother, and, boy, was he pissed69. (Laughter) It was the saddest and longest night of his life
as well70. Now I tried to explain what happened, but he
said, "I don't understand. If you saw71
I wasn't calling you, why didn't you just pick up72
the phone and call me?" He was right. Why didn't I call him? I didn't have an answer then, but I do today, and it's a simple one: loneliness.
Vocabulary
1.
grew up =
cresci
2. twin = gêmeo
3.
one thing
about being = uma coisa sobre ser
4.
to spot = identificar, detector
5.
even =
ate mesmo
6.
slightly
bigger = ligeiramente maior
7.
starving
= morrendo de fome
8.
became =
tornei-me
9.
began to
notice = comecei a observer
10.
kind =
tipo
11.
mind =
mente
12.
spent =
passei
13.
earning =
adquirindo
14.
as if =
como se
15.
should =
deveria
16.
Laughter
= risos
17.
getting
ready = preparando-se para
18.
standing
on a stool = de pé sobre uma banqueta
19.
sink =
pia
20.
brushing
his teeth = escovando seus dentes
21.
slipped =
escorregou
22.
scratched
= arranhou
23.
fell =
caiu
24.
cried =
chorou
25. got back
up = levantou-se de novo
26.
reached
out for = estendeu para pegar
27. could
barely tie his shoelaces = mal conseguia amarrar seus cadarços
28. care for = cuidar de
29. twice a
day = duas vezes por dia
30. maintain = manter
31. hygiene = hygiene
32.
We've
known it since we were five years old = sabemos disso desde que tínhamos cinco
anos de idade
33.
Teach =
ensinar
34.
Sustain =
aguentamos
35.
Injuries =
ferimentos
36.
even more
often = ainda mais frequentemente
37.
failure =
fracasso
38.
loneliness
= solidão
39.
get worse
= piorar
40.
yet =
porém
41.
even
though there are = ainda que existam
42.
treat = tratar
43.
It
doesn't even occur to us that = sequer nos ocorre que
44.
Just
shake it off = simplesmente livre-se disso
45.
It is
time we closed the gap = já é hora de fecharmos a lacuna
46.
Speaking
of which = falando disso
47.
Either =
tampouco, também
48.
Though =
contudo
49.
In fact =
na verdade
50. the
hardest thing I've ever done = a coisa mais difícil que eu já fiz
51. get = obter, conseguir
52. apart = separados
53. while = enquanto
54. remained among = permaneciamos entre
55. missed each
other = sentíamos falta um do outro
56. could only afford = conseguíamos apenas pagar
57. rolled around = chegou, aconteceu
58. splurge = fazer alarde
59. pacing around my room = andando pelo meu quarto
60. realize = perceber
61. after
being away for over = após estar longe por mais de
62. he no
longer missed me = ele não mais sentia minha falta
63. one of the saddest = uma das mais tristes
64. woke up = acordei
65. glanced down = olhei de reliance
66.
kicked it
off the hook = deixei fora do gancho
67.
stumbled
out off bed = “tropecei” para fora da cama
68.
rang =
tocou (telefone)
69.
pissed = “puto”,
bravo
70.
as well =
também
71.
saw = viu
72.
pick up =
pegar